I probably re-write each blog post five times before it actually gets posted.
I delete it all after writing something long, fluid and amazing after realizing I do not want that particular topic shared at this point.
Anywho, this one stuck.
Last night, I went for a massage. While she was massaging my back, she was running her thumbs up and down my spinal column. Apparently, my nerve damage from having two kids and my surgery is worse than I thought. My muscles twitched. Alot. More than a lot. They spasmed. The right side was bearable. It felt good after she had massaged a few minutes. The left side was torture. It was uncontrollable. I couldnt help myself from twitching. Her hands sent shivers racing down my legs. I thought I was dying. I had never felt anything as painful in my life. EVER. She stopped immediately knowing my back was not cooperating. She did continue lightly but it was a struggle. It hurt.
She recommended coming every month for a while. The nerves would heal, which is true. I rationally know that they can heal, because my right side used to be the same way. I am contemplating it. I cant live in pain forever.
Today, it hurts worse. I think I have dealt with the constant pain for so long, that someone trying to work on my back is something I was not prepared for.
Also, In update news, surgery number three is going down soon. Date TBD. But its on the horizon. I will be out a week from my Admin job, and four weeks from my bus job. I will spend my week working on nothing except relaxing. Maybe some spreadsheet work inbetween. Maybe catch up on some movies. Sleep. Maybe blog on some things.
I have some crafts to share and some recipe blogs. Hopefully those will help me get some exposure. I am conflicted on wanting more or not.
Peace.
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